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Sunday, September 19, 2010
On the Road to Camelot ...
1:30 PM | 
Posted by
~Visions~ |
“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”It was nine years ago, that I received the diagnosis that would forever change my world. Nine years since I walked gingerly to the edge.
I knew I had no choice but to step off into the unknown and join a club about which I knew very little. I can't tell you that I learned to fly, not then ... as many times I felt smothered.
I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning, unable to breathe, the fear so palpable I didn't think I could face another minute alone. It was then, that the poem "Footprints" would come to mind. I know that my prayers were answered when I found myself being carried more times than I can remember.
This was a time where, if I'd had doubts about a Divine Source, those doubts were laid to rest. Although I am deeply spiritual, I'm the least religious person there is. Brought up Catholic, I've spent most of my life, singing both in choirs and solo. I make no bones about saying I love churches for the acoustics. But I'd sing anywhere, if they'd have me.
I remember the support I received from my choir mates. Those nights when the doorbell would ring and someone was bringing me food. The words of encouragement when my hip-length, red hair fell out and I had to use a wig. Of all the things I had to endure, I think this was one of the worst. I was losing my identity.
But I digress. I didn't go bald right away. However, the fear of dying, and leaving my children without a mother, haunted me from the time I heard the words, "I'm sorry. The results were positive."
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3 comments:
I love how you start every post with a quote! I will not even pretend like I know what you are and have been going through, but since august 3. I have been following my husbands treatment and fight to beat leukemia. He received a stem cell transplant on august 11, and is doing well now. I have been blogging about it almost every day at http://silveroceanjewelry.blogspot.com/ if you should be interested. I wish you all the best! Thank you for commenting on my photo blog :-)
Thank you, Inger. It sounds like you have your own fight. It is just as devastating for family as the person going through it. I posted on your blog and am following it. Wishing you the best as well!
Thank you! I think you are so right about it being just as devastating for the people around, I feel so helpless many times. Staying positive and grateful has been my rescue. Sigve is also a very positive person, so some has rubbed off on me :-) I will keep following you too!