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The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. ... Albert Einstein

I'm a creative. I don't know how to be anything else. Everything I see, hear, smell is fuel for my muse. I've had several careers, but was never content until I found my niche.

Now, I run a home-based studio, FyreWork Designs where I freelance as a photographer, writer and designer. I wear many hats, but love what I do. I enjoy working in variety of artistic venues: digital alchemy, multi-media as well as mixed media. I often use my photography as a springboard to create fanciful images.

You'll find variety here, complete with comments as the muse sees fit. You've been warned ;-)

Oh, and in case you didn't know ... I'm a cancer survivor. Every day I wake up, I've survived!

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Searching for Truth ...

"As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma."
.... Sri Guru Granth Sahib

My sister is a bitch.

There. I’ve said it. It feels great to finally find that release in being honest. I don’t have to pretend anymore. I don’t have to bow my head in shame thinking it’s me that is at fault.

To carry on the theme of Thanksgiving, I’m grateful that I can finally call my sister out for the obnoxious person that she is. She is a despicable human being who has stooped to levels I didn’t know existed to make my life a living hell. I’ve wrestled with writing this post for a long time. How much should I say? What should I hold back? However, if this is about my healing, then I need to be truthful in all aspects.

Time and again I’ve tried to voice how I felt, but between my sister and my mother (two peas in the same pod) I was constantly told how I was deluded. I must have imagined it all. However, after years of therapy, I was led to the conclusion that they both suffer from altered reality. My sister is a cross addict, a recovering anorexic and a nymphomaniac ... a rather bad combination. My mother ... well she has her own issues, to be discussed later.

Thankfully, over the years, I’ve had witnesses to my ‘imaginary’ trials. Real, live people without whom I’d have truly gone insane.

Had my sister even apologized for the heinous things she’s done, perhaps I could have forgiven her. But not once, has she ever acknowledged any of her transgressions. I won’t get into those now, but bit by bit, I’ll deal with them here. This way, perhaps, I can finally let go the past and the pain that haunts me.

For years, I tried to help her find what she needed. I was there to comfort her over her numerous breakups. I helped her get into rehab when she’d hit her bottom. I refused to enable her habits when everyone else turned a blind eye. But rather than be grateful, she tried her best to destroy every happiness I had.

She’s run the gamut from making passes at my boyfriends and husbands, to taking me to court on criminal charges based on nothing but lies, to trying to convince my kids that I abused them. She even abandoned me when I was diagnosed with cancer, never even enquiring how the surgeries had gone. Why? I have no idea. Except for the fact that she’s mentally unstable.

Why am I telling you all this? Because after years of her abuse and lies, after being so ill this summer I thought I would die, she wanted to come up to ‘help’ me. Again, like a fool I believed she had changed and finally wanted to make amends. Although in retrospect, I’m not sure she wanted anything more than a free vacation. Less than a week after she arrived, refusing to spend any time with me, she craftily orchestrated an argument, so she could leave and go to my youngest daughter. She, along with my mother as her trusty sidekick, did their best to convince her that it was all my fault. This has now driven a wedge between my daughter and I that may take a very long time to heal.

It’ll be interesting to see the kind of karma my sister ends up having to pay back. What goes around always comes around.

And sometimes payback’s a bitch too.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, sometimes it hurts to cut the ties, but when the ties are choking you, you must survive.
It has been like this forever for you. I feel for you, and I am here for you. THEY do NOT deserve to have YOU in their lives.
They will bring you down....
Donna

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, sometimes it hurts to cut the ties, but when the ties are choking you, you must survive.
It has been like this forever for you. I feel for you, and I am here for you. THEY do NOT deserve to have YOU in their lives.
They will bring you down....
Donna

Anonymous said...

Here's to you - my oldest and dearest bff!
Your sis has been this way FOREVER! Your Mama too! Let not the poisons contaminate your offspring. Like "Paper, Sizzors, Rock" poison will win over morality.

"Sing with me, sing for the years,
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if just for today,
Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes true."

L.

~Visions~ said...

Thanks, guys. I've been getting lots of email as well telling me that I need to get the toxins out before I can heal. It feels so good to finally tell the truth ... and bit by bit I'll be letting it all out.

Anonymous said...

What kind of horrible person would be so cruel to their own sister? I'm so sorry, hon, that you have to go through this. Be strong. People like her always get what's coming.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Such pretty pictures! but the words give me pause...a LOT of venom~ First rule of Karma: Worry about Your Own! For someone with apparent talent & literacy, why do you squander your energy on blame-diversion, & pointing fingers?! at last count your "damage" is at the hands of at least 4 other people (how many other sides to these stories?) if there can be no middle ground, CUT TIES! Lest you succumb to the Darkside ... otherwise the philosophies you propound come off as posturing...

~Visions~ said...

Hmmmmmm ... I'm always so very skeptical of people who come on as "Anonymous" sounding so judgmental. You obviously missed the point of this exercise. Perhaps you should take the time to reread and COMPREHEND what was written before making silly accusations.

The Darkside, eh? LOL too funny. I assure you, dear one, I walk in the light.

There are actually three sides to a story. Mine, theirs and somewhere in the middle is the truth. Fortunately, I have many witnesses that can back my version.

Without knowing the circumstances you have no way of knowing how 'venomous' I am. Perhaps it's justified.

Feel free not to bother stopping by, but thanks for your opinion ...

threadpuller said...

actually all the comments here, besides your own are tagged 'anon'.
skepticism is important, esp. when one sounds critical~like your accusations! i don't know your situations, except as you portray them, so help me comprehend: you were a passive victim? a faultless saint, seeking blog martyrdom-?by the way, what is your motive? seeking validation, or "poor you" by sycophants? back pedal as much as want, but i smell a thinly veiled agenda, as well as hatred...unless i am guilty of "psychological projection"(ever heard of it?)if i strike too close to home,will you poison pen a blog about me!?in your salacious attempt at expose, maybe you have revealed too much-about yourself! be courageous, explain the "third side"=take responsibilty for a fault entirely your own! MetaPhysician, Heal thy
Self!! (you are a self proclaimed reiki master, no?) is anyone else wondering about the rancour of her one-sided character-assasination?
is the tone not inconsistent with
manufactured persona of sage?of course you're only human-not unlke the rest ofus, incl. your family...walk in light, feet in shadow (never took a step on the left-handed path?)wishing you strength!it would be unfair to pick on someone sick, after all. how bout pics of narcissus
or posey"s(sic)

~Visions~ said...

The other ANONS are people I know AND who know my sister. They are people who can back up what I say.
I know who you are, Dave, another of my sister's ex-boy toys trying to get into her good graces (ummm pants?) Please stay away from this blog, it's not for you.

Since you wanted this can of worms opened, then I will continue to pour them out. Airing out dirty laundry can be so very cathartic.

This is MY blog ... MY healing ... and yes ... my sister is every inch the bitch AND more. Was I passive? No ... I'm never passive. But I DO tell the truth, something most people don't know how to do anymore. And I can assure you, sir that since you do NOT know me, you only have a liar's word.

You sound intelligent, but your logic is rather faulty. Perhaps you should start thinking with the 'right' head?!!

donna said...

If anyone knows Linda, they know who she is and what she does...
This goes back atleast 25 years if not more, I witnessed it myself when they lived in Pierrefonds...so before you attack Nina, take a long hard look at Linda's life.
My opinion is that Nina has taken so much for so long, so now she is cleansing...and getting rid of the negative people in her life....
You must be in Linda's court obviously, must have alot in common with her....
D

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